Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I’ve looked at clouds that way
That was one of the first songs I learned on guitar, but the Hayley Westenra version since my hardcore My Jonie Mitchel phase wouldn’t pick up until halfway through college. I’ve always loved how Hayley’s voice and Jonie’s words communicate the sentimental sweetness and sadness of getting older and living life, passing from stage to stage and realizing that we know less than we thought.
June was sort of a clouds month where everything was not as I expected it. It included my recovery from the end of school, a solid week of purging my childhood room, a trip to Texas with Calvin’s friends and family, and most excitingly, my little sister’s engagement.
Starting with my room purge, which was technically at the very end of May, I didn’t realize how much stuff I had accumulated over the last 21 years of living in the same room. I’ve gone through it before, of course, but I couldn’t remember that last time I really purged. Calvin helped me a lot in this area. My problem with purging is that I usually start well, but then end up finding some letter from a 4th grade crush, or an old mitten I had been missing, or an 1800s book on Christmas pageants for children and suddenly I am completely engrossed and obsessing over that thing and don’t want to work anymore. Starting the summer with a clean(er) slate was refreshing, even if the giving up of a few sentimental things was hard. As Calvin reminded me, what I’m really sentimental about is the memories, not the material triggers for those memories. “And,” he said diplomatically after convincing me that I probably won’t be going to any Abba cover converts anytime soon, “You can always take a picture.”
Wouldn’t you know it, he’d be regretting those words a few weeks later when I was taking pictures like my life depended on it Texas. We flew out on a Friday, held hands and leaned out the window for the four hours, excited and nervous (that was me) about all the fun and newness waiting there. Calvin hadn’t seen most of his family in 18 months, and I hadn’t seen them ever, so the trip was a big deal.
Texas was everything California is not in some really wonderful ways. I had never eaten brisket at a gas station, much less good brisket from the country’s largest and cleanest gas station (I ❤ u Buckee’s), and I had certainly never seen a place so incredibly flat. Calvin got to hear a little too much of that (“It’s so flat!”) as I was probably channeling all of my meet-the-family anxieties into commentary about the landscape.
Speaking of that, I don’t even know why I was so worried. I told Calvin the experience was a little like meeting celebrities. You’ve seen these people in photos and videos, and you know lots of stories about them, but you don’t really know how tall they are in real life or whether they’ll think your jokes are funny. The great thing about the family of Christ is that, hopefully there’s some grace for nervousness and awkwardness, and as long as you’re not a serial killer or something, they probably won’t object to you dating their son too much.
In all seriousness, though, they were wonderful and I love them so much. It’s always a special thing when you meet someone’s parents and see the similarities: the green in their mother’s eye’s and the music in their father’s laugh. I got choked up the last night of the trip because I hate goodbyes, but quickly realized that this experience was not like making a friend at summer camp. I’d see them again!
And I did! But not before my 25th birthday and Bible-themed birthday party! Then before I knew it, we were traveling again—this time to San Clemente and San Diego. There I met more family—aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins. I was shown even more kindness and generosity and warmth, and I probably ate my weight in TJ’s chocolate cat cookies. That’s never a bad thing in my book.
And then, as if we hadn’t taken enough trips this summer, the product of my scheming… Disney!
A week or so before the school year ended, I decided to harass call Calvin at 7:00am to pick his brain on the idea of going to Disneyland in a message that went something like, “HEY, are you awake? Also, do you want to do something kind of insane? Like go to Disneyland at 25% capacity? Like go to Disneyland this summer?” I was not exactly stable that week and I’m still a little surprised I pulled off my bid. Within the hour, myself, Calvin, my sister and her fiancé, Calvin’s brother, and his girlfriend were all signed up to go. A few months later and we were there on my hair-brained excursion, soaking in all the Disney goodness.
Getting on the new Star Wars ride twice was pretty fantastic, but the ride that stood out to me the most was a small one tucked so far back into the park that I had basically forgotten about it.
Two hours before the park closed, I asked Calvin if we could veer off for a bit. Our group had been doing great staying together and finding the shortest wait times for rides that we had conquered all the greats: Space, Splash, Big Thunder, and Matterhorn mountains. But what we hadn’t done was what I had been describing all day as, “the princess thing.” Basically, I wanted to be 8 and walk through Fantasyland, but I wasn’t going to subject the whole group to it. Calvin quickly obliged and sent the others on their way to ride Pirates a second time, and we headed off toward the pink castle. After searching and failing to find a short wait-time, we stumbled into Toontown 20 minutes before closing and queue’d up for “Gadget’s Go-Coaster.”
“I’m sorry about this,” I said, gesturing at the tiny coaster. A mom and three kids under 6 were hustling into the ride loading-station in front of us. “It’s not the best ride here.”
“What are you talking about?” he laughed, “Everyone knows that there are three great rides in Disneyland: Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, and Gadget’s Go-Coaster.” Man, I knew I loved him.
I sit here happily reminiscing on all of this with maybe a cold, maybe COVID, maybe that scary Delta variant… I don’t know. I’ve been out of commission for the last three days and at this point I don’t care what it is, I just want to smell again. Calvin had already been sick with this the week before and so, after getting off from working two jobs on Monday, he came to my house to watch movies and help me bring my fever down. Even this morning as I sat on the bed, crying from the aches and pains that just would not stop, he held me, prayed for my healing out loud, then went and ran me a shower. God has really blessed me with this man and I’ll love him forever.
And now, everything changes. In a couple of weeks I will stand in front of a new group of students in a new school and I’ll move into a new house. But Summer has been so rich and I’m reminded in fresh ways that the God of the harvest will be faithful in the Fall and the Winter, too, no matter what clouds come my way.
Kayley Chartier 